Be Not Afraid

A week before Thanksgiving I tweaked my back and it has been giving me trouble since. Back problems are nothing new to me, but they always just go away. This time it did not go away though. It progressively got worse and so I went to see a doctor and they prescribed some medicines and all of those medicines gave me side effects (at one point I think Suzanne thought I had cancer and was going to die) and then finally I got an MRI and they discovered that I had ruptured a disc in my back (then I thought that I was gonna die!)

When the doctor told me the news I really thought I would puke. I had to have him open the office door and get me some water it was so bad. For several days after that I was irritable and really worried. It wasn't just the 'roid shots they gave me either. I was scared that it wouldn't heal, that I would have to have surgery, that the doctor might hit a nerve when they operated on me. All kinds of things were running through my head. Fearful things.  Over time though I remembered a song that John Austin my area director had played for us at a YL staff retreat and I began to calm down, I began to relax and I began to trust that God saw me, knew me and loved me. The song that he played that day has calmed my heart through many trials and situations. God has planted it inside me and brings it out whenever I need it.  John took a lot of flack from some of the other staff folks for playing a somewhat cheesy version that was sung by monks, but I love it and am thankful for it.

I have heard it said that God, in one form or another, tells us to not be afraid more than any other command in the Bible. The world wants you to be very afraid. The enemy of your heart wants you to be afraid. Afraid you don't drive the right car, that God doesn't really care, that you aren't pretty enough, are going to go broke, don't know the right people, will never find healing and the list goes on and on and on. But the God who loves you says in his word....

You shall cross the barren desert, but you shall not die of thirst.
You shall wander far in safety though you do not know the way.
You shall speak your words in foreign lands and all will understand.
You shall see the face of God and live.

Be not afraid.
I go before you always.
Come follow me, and
I will give you rest.

If you pass through raging waters in the sea, you shall not drown.
If you walk amid the burning flames, you shall not be harmed.
If you stand before the pow'r of hell and death is at your side, know that
I am with you through it all.

Be not afraid.
I go before you always.
Come follow me, and
I will give you rest. 

The refrain is the part that I love and sing in my head when I need to hear from him. To be reminded that whatever I am encountering and whatever is happening, he is with me and before me. This is a link to an equally cheesy version of the song if you would like to listen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBH-Eh9Bjjg&playnext=1&list=PL0FFD26345FE4A297&index=4

Blessings...