...the Way of the Master

Ephesians is one of my favorite books in the Bible and Chapter 6 verse 4 is very challenging for me. Here is what it says:
⁴Fathers, don't exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master.

As I said before, I am reading a book with my brother that is called Integrity, but I have dubbed it The Quan and it is really challenging me. As the father of 3 boys that live life at full tilt my home is rather crazy, noisy and difficult to keep tidy. Last night I came home to Ryan having taken apart his entire airsoft rifle and scattered it across the kitchen table, Matthew dancing and flopping around on the second floor so loudly that it sounded as if he was going to come through the ceiling and did I mention that there was a paper target tied to the tree in the front yard, several pairs of muddy boots in the driveway and a boomerang laying in the yard. The rest of the evening was filled with more than its fair share of accusations and frustrations of trying to get things cleaned up, who made what mess and should be accountable for it and then of course the jabbing and nagging of boys towards each other.

Later that night while Suzanne was wrapping gifts I was reading The Quan and a couple of lines really hit me right in the nose. In them Dr Cloud talked about the fact that at home, just like at work you want to win the hearts of your wife and children through true care and empathy and then they will be more likely to follow you out of love and respect not because you have forced them to by shear will power (which can be easy for me to do with my young boys). That is exactly what this verse is talking about in Ephesians. I don't want to exasperate my kids so that they do what I ask in the short term but want to get out from under me the first chance they get. I want to lovingly "lead them in the way of the Master" so that they will want to follow me and ultimately him. It is something that takes great thought and focus for me though. I often have to check myself and evaluate my words and actions so that I do not find myself exasperating them and being too heavy handed with them.I have to constantly be checking my words and motivation. So that as the Bible says, when they are older they will have that foundation of love, discipline and faith and not stray from it. Thanks for the challenge God, Paul and Dr Cloud!

Turn Around

The word repent can be translated, turn around. I heard my friend Allen Levi sing a song at our church in Greensboro many years ago and was looking for some Christmas music on the computer yesterday and came upon it on his website. It is a Christmas song of a different kind.

This song reminds me of how much love Jesus has for each of us. How he sees us and loves us just as we are, yet longs for us to turn around and follow him. To repent of the things that we have done that have caused bumps and bruises on others as well as forgiving folks for the scars they have left on us. Neither is easy sometimes. The baby Jesus, the creator in flesh, though calls us to change. He calls us to bold and daring moves that don't make sense like The Word  becoming flesh and moving into the neighborhood to save that which has been lost. He calls us to turn a round and trust him and as the song says we are often scared to turn around and walk a different way than those around us. To walk differently than the rest of the world. God please give us the courage to turn around follow you in new ways this Christmas season and beyond.

Below is the link to the song if you would like to listen. Blessings...
http://www.allenlevi.com/songsandstories/LandBackwards.html

The Quan

What is "The Quan" you ask? It is a word used by Rod Tidwell in the movie Jerry Maguire to refer to the total package. To Rod the total package means love, respect, community and money. According to Rod, "Other football players may have the coin, but they won't have the 'Quan'". My definition of quan may not line up exactly with Rod's definition but I do love his enthusiasm and spirit in the movie.

My brother and I had a great conversation today about a leadership study that we are doing and a book that we are reading together. It is called "Integrity", but I have taken to calling it The Quan! I really enjoy these times with him and today was a good one. We spent time talking about the kind of wake that we are leaving behind us in life. We thought about our wake at home, work and in our community. 

I think this is going to be an important study for us because as life changes the demands on us change too and this study is going to have us asking ourselves good questions like: Are people in our wake more trusting after working with us? Are they more fulfilled as people? Were they stretched and inspired to become more?
Or, instead are they wounded? Less Trusting? Do they feel let down and manipulated?

The book is by Henry Cloud and in it he talks about the fact that we all will have our metal tested in life and we need to do our best to make sure that we have the "structural integrity" or in my words "the quan" to meet those demands.  If we don't we will have a wake behind us that instead of causing my friends, family and co-workers to grow, flourish and move to a stronger, better place in life may cause them to stumble and wipe out and I definitely don't want that.

Jesus said that He came to offer life and not just life, but life to the full. A life with meaning and purpose as well as eternal life. I want my life to be a reflection of his as much as it can be and to have a wake that the people I lead and the kids and wife that I live with will be encouraged by, challenged by and ultimately help guide them to a full and meaningful life that only Jesus can offer. Blessings...

Are You Passionate About Chicken?

When I was at a grand opening for a Chick-fil-A in Denver a few years back I met a guy who was an owner/operator at one time but had left the company. At the time I thought that he was nuts because he had been where I was trying so hard to get and had walked away. I asked him why he had left and he said that he was just not that passionate about chicken. He said that he loved all that CFA stood for and loved the atmosphere of the company and the pride that he felt when he told people what he did, but he wasn't passionate about chicken.  He wasn't passionate about rolling up his sleeves, getting coater all over him and making an awesome fried chicken breast.

When he shared that with me it really made me stop and think and has turned into a question that I ask myself whenever I need a gut check in life now. The question, "Are you passionate about chicken?" has come to mean a lot of things to me. It means am I willing to do the little things with my kids? To unload the dishwasher for my wife after a long day? To follow Jesus into places that I don't want to go?  It is easy to be passionate about the things in life that come easy or are not messy or you know are not going to ask too much of you. It is harder to be passionate about chicken. Making chicken is messy, greasy, hot and when you have been breading chicken in the kitchen there is no mistaking it. The rest of the team knows it because you are covered in coater, your sleeves are usually rolled up, you are probably sweating and you most likely have a few good grease spots on your shirt and pants.

There are so many days when I come home and I don't always feel like throwing the ball, doing homework, tackling a "honey do list" or going to set up for church but that is what I signed up for when I said, "I do", when I took that boy from the doctor and held him for the first time and when I told the one who made me that I was giving my life back to him. So Lord, help me to be passionate about chicken! Blessings..

Even When You Can't get There, Just Keep Running

Friday morning I had the opportunity to lead the devotional time with a local football team at their morning breakfast and the following is a bit of that.

I read an article after the Iron Bowl that really got me to thinking. It was about how Auburn had come from behind against The Tide and seemingly insurmountable odds due in large part to the efforts on one play by one man. Auburn DE Antoine Carter ran down Mark Ingram and stripped the ball from him just yards before he got to the end zone and extended the Alabama lead even more. The article talks about the fact that a 256lb DE cannot run down the reigning Heisman Trophy winner. Especially not after rushing the quarterback and starting behind the line of scrimmage. He did though.

The author talked about the fact that Carter simply did what he had been coached to do his whole career. He has probably been playing football since he was a little guy and if you have ever played football you know that one of the first things you learn is to play until the whistle blows. His current defensive coordinator, Ted Roof says that you never know what is going to happen. "The guy could stumble. The ball could get tipped. The ball could be fumbled." After the game Cater said about the play, "Even when you can't get there, just keep running." This is a great life lesson.

Sometimes it is hard to understand what God is doing. Often God tells us to do things in his word or speaks to our hearts and it makes no sense. We think we can't get there or it is impossible or what he says seems so opposite of what we want to do. I have had coaches that at the time I would have questioned whether they were trying to kill me or if they were a bit nuts. In hind site though I can usually see what they were doing and why they were doing it. Our job is to give our best in every drill, to execute the game plan the best we can. We need to be faithful to what he has called us to, no matter what it looks like. No matter how far out of reach a victory seems.

 If you think that your current situation has no hope or your boss will never notice you or your kids are beyond help (feel free to insert your situation here) I would urge you to think again.  God says that it is our job to trust Him and just keep running. To be faithful until the end of the play. We can't control what others do, but we can control our hearts and our efforts.

Antoine Carter chose to keep running and in doing so saved the game for Auburn. Maybe you need to choose to keep praying, to keep showing up, to keep loving or to keep trusting and in doing so you may just save the game for your kid or your wife or yourself. I don't know what it is for you, but I can promise that the God who made you sees you and loves you. He knows what is best for you moment by moment and HE CAN BE TRUSTED. His heart and intentions toward you are good. You nay not always get there to save the day or recover the ball, even then (or especially then) we simply must continue to trust him.

My favorite line in the article is when the author says that because of Carter's faithfulness to do what his coaches had taught him to do and had instilled in Him, "A sure 28-0 deficit turned into hope." I pray that God will give all of us the ability to trust him and that through that he will turn your deficit into hope.
Blessings...

Proverbs 3:5-12 (The Message)
 ^5-12 Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track.
Don't assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil!
Your body will glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life!
Honor God with everything you own; give him the first and the best.
Your barns will burst, your wine vats will brim over. But don't, dear friend, resent God's discipline;
 don't sulk under his loving correction. It's the child he loves that God corrects; a father's delight is behind all this.

This is a link to the article if you would like to read it:
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2010/writers/andy_staples/11/26/iron.bowl/index.html

A Great Dancer in China

This goes along with my post from the other day. It is from Steven Furtick's blog. Check it out!

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/stevenfurtick/~3/bf_T0SuhXAM/

I am Dave

This morning at church we were singing a hymn and as I was singing I started to really think about the words. The part that got me was:
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
For some reason a picture popped into my head. It was a picture of someone I have only met once. I will call him Dave. Dave's parents died a few years ago and he has been adopted by other members of his family I believe. I can't remember his whole story, but I am pretty sure that Dave did not have a great family life and now that his parents are dead my understanding is he is living rather recklessly and not real appreciative of what these family members have done and continue to do for him daily even.

Any way, when I saw the picture of him the other day my first thought was, "What an ungrateful fool." Then I thought about how I am better than Dave. I am more responsible, don't drink as much, work harder, etc. For just a moment I may have been glad that Dave existed just so I could feel better about myself. Then today when I was singing God smacked me right in the face with the words to the song I was singing to him!

I realized that I am no different than Dave. I have been adopted by God through his son Jesus and far too often I am just like the prodigal son that Jesus told about in Luke 15. I may not do it in loud, public ways like Dave or the son in the story, but often I tell God in no uncertain terms that I want my inheritance and I don't really want a relationship with him and march off to do things my way.

My pastor put a little piece of paper on our chairs at church this morning and on it was written, "I am thankful for..." He said to really think about it and maybe even put it away for a while and came back to it later. Well here I am at 9:44 and I know what I am thankful for. I am very thankful for my heavenly father who waits and watches for me, who calls for me and when he sees me coming back home he runs to me with open arms, hugs me and welcomes me back home. That is what I am thankful for. Blessings...

The Big Rocks

Suzanne and I were talking this morning and we both agreed that we are simply feeling too rushed lately. We feel like we are running from one thing to another and are constantly feeling the stress of that and also I feel like we are being harder on the kids than we need to be because it too often feels like we are behind and need to go, go , go and the kids don't always feel the same way. They are usually seen as too slow, slow, slow. Homework needs to be done, shoes tied, baths given, errands run, etc and before you know it you find yourself shouting at a kid that is just being a kid or a wife that is trying her best to keep up.

A friend once passed along the organization principle to me of putting your "Big Rocks" in first, which means basically that you plan your week out and ensure that you make time for the most important "rocks" or things in your life and let the other stuff (the smaller rocks) fill in the cracks between the big rocks as space allows. Instead of letting the opposite happen, too often I let all of the little rocks just get dumped in and then my bucket can't hold the most important rocks or out of laziness I fill my bucket up with often meaningless things like too much TV, my Crackberry or countless other time fillers that really don't amount to much of anything.
The sad part too is that the things that get left out are usually the things that make a life meaningful. It seems that if I want to have a meaningful life with a better pace to it then I need to do what is counter intuitive when it feels like there is a time crunch. I need to slow down and ask myself a few questions like, "Am I spending time in my Bible, talking with Him, being helpful to my wife, what am I accomplishing here?" It would seem to me that as life picks up speed and you add more kids and more sports and more whatever committees and more volunteering and the fly wheel really starts to spin and momentum starts to build we need to hunker down with the one who knows us best and who really is the only one who can make our life meaningful. We need to inch our way back to the center of the wheel, not allow ourselves to get spun farther and farther out.

 That is what Jesus did. Just when things seemed to really be turning the corner and more and more people were listening and momentum was building and people were wanting to do things like crown him king, he would  head for the hills or make a left instead of a right or cross to the other side of the lake to get away and be with his father. To listen to him, to be filled by him and to get put back on track. I don't do that enough. Too often I flop right onto the couch to watch the TV or raise my voice or crack open a cold beverage, when what I really need to do is check in with the one who made me. Maybe I need to go to bed a little earlier and get up a little earlier. Put the big rocks in first and let the smaller rocks fill in where they will. Listen for His voice amidst all the other roaring voices that clammer for my attention and distract me daily.
I think if I can do that I will be a better dad, husband, boss and friend and I am pretty sure I will enjoy the ride a good bit more. Blessings...

Lots of sugar

A couple of nights ago Matthew asked me if I would make him some cereal for dessert. He chose Rice Chex and I started to get the bowl out and get it ready. I know him well and knew that before I could even finish he would be sure to ask me to put lots of sugar on his Chex. I also knew that he would make sure to remind me that he likes the milk on first and then the sugar. He didn't fail me. As I poured the cereal he quickly reminded me of both.
As I performed my duties it made me smile. I love my son and love what makes him uniquely Matthew. His strengths, his weaknesses and everything in between. As I thought on this for a second I immediately thought of a couple of passages, Matthew 7:9-11 and Matthew 6:6-8. Both deal with the fact that God knows each of us intimately whether we want Him to or not and knows exactly what we want and more importantly what we need.
He feels the same way about you and I as I do about Matthew. You can trust Him. He knows just what you need when you need it. That is not always easy. Sometimes he allows hard things to happen in our lives to prune us or teach us, but sometimes he puts extra sugar on before he puts the milk in the bowl and sits back and watches us enjoy what he has made just for us.

Here we go...

I have been feeling like I need to be more thoughtful about my life, my marriage, my God, my kids....a lot of things. As I thought about that I felt like a blog might be a good thing for me. It would be a fun healthy challenge (I have to learn how to upload pictures onto my computer) and it would give me a place to sit down and think about what I am doing, how I am living and maybe help others along the way. It will definitely be a work in progress and I will probably borrow a lot from others. If you have any thoughts or helpful hints please let me know. So, here we go....